Saturday, July 24, 2010

Discipline with Love

Being a mother of many little ones I try to always rolemodel the "examples" I want my children to image.  However, when things get tough in our home my children begin to act as if they want to be "heard"!  The only way I can get a word out is to be "heard" too.  Obviously, this way of reacting won't work well when  we are out so, change is definite!  I prayed and prayed about different ways to handle this and finally believe I may have figured it out!  I will first, have to teach the children that when something is wrong, we can be "heard" better if we speak slowly and softly. Secondly, after accomplishing that, I won't have to be "heard" in return.  Third, I will be able to resolve it faster if these steps are followed!

I have always been a very gentle mother.  Although, it can sometimes be very challenging when the child is misbehaving on purpose.  I have found that daily prayer in our home is a must and the rest will follow after that.  We are a very busy family and sometimes get caught up in everybody elses troubles.  We teach our children alternatives to gossip and slander.  We shy away from the groups that involve the drama and pointless acts toward one another and we try and teach them with love.  So,if we do this, where are the children learning to be so angry?? 

I have spent numerous hours on this subject with many, many people.  It is one of those subjects most people would rather avoid.  For me, as mom, I have no choice but, to confront it.  It is one of the many emotions that have little or no reasoning.  It a harder one to discuss and understand.  But, it is real and needs our attention.

I have learned over the years of being a parent that "we" are the sources of their anger even when we have no connection to the source.  It is sometimes overwhelming for them to be angry at anyone or anything else.  They look to us for comfort and soothing after, treating us like we were their worst enemy.  It is important to teach them boundaries for this reason.  In doing so, we will all understand each other more.

I believe, these children tell us a story through their behavior.  They seek our attention and approval especially, when there are many contenders.  It is hard sometimes to "understand" what they are thinking?!  Yet, at other times it's really clear.  I try my best as their mother to reach each child on an individual basis at least one time per day.  With their ages from newborn to pre-teen, I have my work cut out for me! 

Our schedules here in the home, are our main discipline.  There is no rigidness to our day.  Some days are better than others.  We try and make everything a "family" activity.  We live each day growing in God's grace and loving each other!  May God continue to give us the strength to do his will!! AMEN!!!

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